It is either this blog - which gives me an outlet, or cleaning the house because my wife has found yet another reason to not clean - actually, to not even be in the house - on the night before the cleaners come.
So I can clean the house enough so the cleaners can at least sweep/mop the floors (note "Clean" in this case just means that I pile every box on top of each other, and add more piles from the floor on top of the piles already on the furniture). Why should I do it? Because my wife is blind to this stuff and I and my children can't live in a total sty.
In between cleaning bursts, I'll add here.
Recommended books:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0966036646/ref=oss_product
Understanding Women With AD/HD Sold by: Amazon.com, LLC
This is a collection of different magazine articles and papers. It was very insightful to me because I learned that many of my wife's bizarre behaviors are actually quite common in adults with ADD or AD/HD. For example - not knowing right from left, and getting sleep patterns completely flipped topsy turvy (did I just write "topsy turvy"??) are very common traits. There was lots of other information too, providing lots of insight. No answers, but a bit of understanding.
and..
Women with Attention Deficit Disorder: Embrace Your Differences and Transform Your Life Sold by: Amazon.com, LLC
Which covers some very good material including - most importantly to me perhaps, the five stages that a person who is dealing with their ADD goes through. Like grief, it starts with denial and ends in acceptance.
After reading these books from cover to cover, and some other books and resources too, after eight months, I finally had the precise opportunity to give them to my wife. When I presented her (at 2am because she was still very awake then - see the topsy turvy comment above) with the bag that the books were in (it was a nice gift bag), before she saw the contents she said "what did you get me, books on ADD?" So she has been thinking about this.
To my surprise, she read this second book. Of course she came away with "none of this applies to me, it only applies to my sister" (talk about cherry picking!!). I keep reminding myself that:
a. she bothered to read the book.
b. the book notes that denial is the first phase.
Now, I just wait and watch for signs that she may be moving through the other phases to ultimately - after months or years, arrive at acceptance.
I'm not particularly religious, but I'll take any help in getting her headed the right direction!
Good night
Just me
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